PUTTIN' IT OUT THERE

A few months ago, I ran across a girl's blog who was determined to lose some weight. I don't remember all the details, but I do remember one thing: she posted her stats for all the world to see. Age, height, WEIGHT. Wow - the courage that would take. I just kept thinking how brave she was. Or maybe how fed up she was with her weight battle.

And I understand her frustration. I'm there. Right there in the middle of being sick and tired of weighing more than I want to weigh. I've fought my weight since the age of 12. I was always tall - and big. Not huge. Just a big girl. I hated it. My weight was an issue all through school - sports and everything - and college and marriage. Then I found aerobics. Leotards, leg warmers, matching headbands - the works. And I became a fitness instructor and personal trainer. I fell in love with it and with my new 'better' body. And I became divorced. That seemed to help the weight battle, for some reason. For many years, I was on the winning side of the weight loss war.

Then Big John happened. (Poor Big John gets blamed for everything.) And after a little while, I was, as we would say in the Education World, on the non-winning side. In the real world it's called LOSING. I was losing the fight. I slowly but surely became less fit and less concerned about my fitness. Once I hurt my back and had to give up my classes, I quickly became unfit. Just flabby and yuck.

I've tried it all when it comes to weight loss. Diets, HerbaLife (that was DUMB), prescription medication, starvation. Starvation usually lasts a couple of hours. Then I eat. I don't have a whole lot of willpower. I've even tried to just accept my 46 year old body and "love myself for me." That didn't work AT ALL. I just got fatter and hated it even more.

So here's the next step. I'm going to admit to you - in cyberspace - that I weigh 1**. (Okay, I chickened out. Hint: it's a 3 digit number that starts with a 1.) And I want to weigh 1**. (Okay, I can't tell you that either.) I'll tell you this: I want to lose 11 pounds. As soon as possible. By yesterday would have been great. But I'll take June. That would be okay. It's not a medical necessity. I'm not obese or diabetic or have blocked arteries - that I'm aware of. But I've got some REALLY cute clothes in that closet that I would love to finish my teaching career in. I am tired of wearing the same 3 pairs of pants over and over and over. I want to look CUTE, damn it.

And I know my problem. There are two parts: I eat too much and don't exercise enough. Magic cure: eat less and exercise more. How simple is that? Duh. Just do it. I found this website at http://www.caloriecount.com/. If you go to the Tools section and choose Calorie Target, you can input your current weight, goal weight, gender, height, and activity level. It calculates the daily calorie intake needed to reach your goal weight by a certain time. I should consume 1200 calories to reach my goal weight by June 14. I chose "sedentary" as my activity level just to be on the safe side. I don't think "unfathomable stress" counts as an activity. It probably just increases my cortisol level which contributes to the layer upon layer of blubber around my midsection. I'm just sayin'. School teaching does NOTHING for my figure.

Today was the first day of the rest of my life! I kept a detailed ACCURATE calorie count. I had consumed 1140 of my 1200 allowed calories by 1:00 pm. It's been a LONG afternoon. I had always 'estimated' my calorie intake - apparently I estimate about as well as my sixth graders. I was falling a little short! But I've persevered - it's already 8:00 pm. I've ended up at 1465 calories - 265 over for the day. But I came home and walked 3 miles - fast. Hopefully that will counteract those extra calories.

So if you're interested, I'm going to try this combo: eat less, exercise more, tell you all about it. I'll keep you posted on progress. And if this is the last you hear on the subject, just know I tried. And failed. And I won't want to talk about it!

Alright, I'm off to brush my teeth so I won't be hungry. I've heard that works. I wonder if toothpaste has any calories????

Goodnight All.
Hungy in Jackson County.